"when the stress is on the rise, in my heart I hear you say...
Breathe, just breathe" jonny diaz- breathe
That came on my play list today and it really helped to remind me that things will all workout. So its my turn to remind you all, not matter what is going on or how stressed out you are it will be okay. As they say just breathe
On another note, This morning I made a muesli bowl with fruit, PB, chia seeds, and coconut plus a little drizzle of agave! So yummy and nourishing! Even in the stressful times make sure to nourish your bodies!
What's you favorite way to destress?
Self care is SO important, but remember - self care is also self defined. 💕 It could mean... Saying 'no' more often. Taking a long bath. Phoning a friend. Reading a book. Going on a walk. Practicing mindfulness. Going offline for an hour. Editing your Instagram feed, taking out negative influences. Stretching. Taking a nap. Spending time in the sun. Going for a coffee. Getting lost in a book. What are your favourite ways of being self caring?☺️
Today was quite a difficult day for me in school. But let’s not get too into that, I rather spread more positivity than negativity. So I told you all, that I would update you on how the doctors appointment with the ed specialist on Tuesday night. She is proud of my progress, however I still need a lot more to gain and the only comment she has was that she wanted me gain faster and at a higher rate. Because I go to therapy every Wednesday, she keeps in touch with the therapist, therefore she wants to see me in 6 weeks. Of course, if any occurs, she wants to seek me sooner, but let not look on that perspective.
Lunch😋—> Pita sandwich- pita bread, @sargentocheese
Colby-Jack cheese, 2 slices of @greenridgefarm
Five-Pepper seasoned turkey breast, tomatoes, and spinach, a large navel orange, @oikos
Peach Triple Zero Greek yogurt, 8 shortbread cookies, lemon-lime parfait, and water.
I hope you all have a wonderful rest or your day! My dm is always open if you need someone to speak to!❤️
I was debating whether to write about this, but this is my safe place and I want to be able to express feeling and difficult things - 1. Holds me accountable and 2. The original purpose of this account was to document my recovery
•. •. TRIGGER WARNING
After the fight with my mom Tuesday I went and bought wine, brought it back, got into the fight with my sister, then drank the bottle in my room. Really high urges to self harm, highest in a long time, but I had just finished filling my food logs out and knew I had therapy the next day and I so want to be doing well so I didn’t want to have symptoms, the drinking is bad enough. Every thought was more alcohol, pills, self harm, and symptoms. Knowing I’ve now been 100% honest with T, I don’t want to start lying, I’ve made real progress with this, so I just didn’t want to engage.
Decide I’ll go out for a walk and have a smoke. I end up in a bar, figure I’ll have a vodka soda and watch the hockey game.
Ended up meeting a really cool and hilarious group of guys. They started buying rounds of shots and it was actually really fun. Last call came and went. I should’ve gone home at this point, but they were like hey we’re all gonna go to so and so’s place, I went with.
One of the guys was visiting from Switzerland and barely spoke any English, but he was hot and super into me. We ended up having sex. I was so drunk I could barely stay awake and I should’ve just left. I’m generally a very assertive and some would say aggressive person, but for some reason with intimacy related stuff, it’s like I lose my ability to reject someone and set limits.
Anyways, so we’re kind of done and I was like I need to get to sleep I’m exhausted. He’s like okay. A few minutes later he’s trying to go for a round 2. After the day I’d had, all the alcohol, I just felt like such a piece of worthless shit, I just laid there and let him do it, I just felt like nothing, I felt nothing and I wanted to disappear.
Woke up around 7, said I gotta go and went home, sent my therapist money for the session we were supposed to have, figured I’d sleep and then cancel saying I was sick.
Slept, had cereal, said fuck it, showered and went. 😶
The greatest comfort we are ever going to find comes from deep within us.
Meditation takes practise this is true.
But the rewards are so vast that the tiny amount of time spent learning this skill far outweighs the bother of learning.
Get your meditation happening with our Step 11 guided meditation MP3's @ meditationsforalcoholics.com
Mein Mittagessen heute, ein Wrap mit Kichererbsen, Gurke, Paprika , Salat, Hähnchen und Kräuterdressing.
Es war echt lecker auch wenn mir das Essen heute sehr schwer gefallen ist, hab momentan eine Menge Probleme.
Heute war Wiegetag und es waren wieder fast 2 Kilo weniger , was zu einer Menge stressen geführt hat, weil ich unter dem Gewicht bin mit dem ich dort hingekommen bin.
Das hier erstmal Ausgangssperre, Sitzzeiten und keine Schule 😞
Ich weiß ja auch woran es liegt, ich habe momentan enorme Probleme mit dem trinken, sodass ich ganz viel Flüssigkeit verloren habe !
Einerseits ist es gut zuwissen, dass ich von dem Essen noch gar nicht zugenommen habe , aber andererseits ist es halt ein Schlag ins Gesicht , weil ich jetzt am Wochenende auch nicht nach hause darf, weil mein BMI unter 16 ist und die das nicht verantworten können.
Aber ich habe es meiner Essstörung heute gezeigt und 2 Liter getrunken.
Ich will mich nicht mehr Terrorisieren lassen!
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