I wished I felt as happy as I look when I was taking that pic... All I could think about was “man your cheeks are getting bigger”, “your pants barely fit anymore”, etc... Lately, I realized part of me had been missing. The little light that shined from within had shut down.
Is there something or someone I can blame?
I started putting other things before me that by the time I realized it my soul slowly started to wither 🥀
But what is there to do?
Well, it all starts from within... these past days I’ve been caring more about me than others. I’ve been going back to old hobbies that I enjoy doing and I’m slowly gaining sense of who I am again.
We cannot live life pointing fingers or blaming exterior sources for how we feel... I guess I just learned once again, it’s okay to be selfish at times. It’s a necessity. 🌹
If you’re feeling low, check in with yourself.
The soul knows how to heal itself 🌟 #selflove
My boys know how to make a fella feel swell!! I was greeted at the gate, en route to what was supposed to be my Bachelor Party - and look at how special they already made it. Pedro Martinez is on my flight. Rows are empty. Today is good. I struggle with depression - have my entire young adult life (ages 14-33). It’s not just general sadness; it’s anxiety, it’s despair, it’s negative self-talk. There are many factors that cause me unhappiness and feelings of depression - for instance, when your wedding is called off. And you feel like it was due to mistreatment of mental illness. Misunderstanding of mental health. Not just from the world around me, but from me. From me not understanding how to care for her mental health. Love is not enough if you don’t know it from their perspective. I am prone to narcissism even though I loathe selfishness. I have come to identify with a casual diagnosis of bipolar (no medical professional has ever declared this true) solely on the basis that I work in dedicated states of what could me considered “mania” - if you define “mania” as high production at the point of execution, performance or delivery - and then find times of lows. My lows are recharging lows, re-evaluating lows. They are times to meditate on my work and understand how to do it even better. There is certainly the mourning of the loss. There are times of grief where I am angry and frustrated and lost inside hopelessness. I’m human. My mind is high functioning - not saying I’m a genius or special, it’s just the speed of my thoughts - so it is extra hard for me to shut them off and catch them before they begin to endanger my mental health. I have learned patience and understanding. In other words, I have learned to listen more than talk (said the guy with an epic Instagram post). I do talk a lot. I’m a big hearted, passionate guy who really believes in good ideas. I’m dedicating my life to better ideas because that’s what humans do. Humans are imperfect and beautiful at the same time. Have discipline and self love.