[20.19 Mar 23] Officially marked my 11th year of Motherhood! It has been tiring and yes, most of the time I felt like the same as @gudetama
, just want to laze around and do nothing!
I was surprised by my own decision, give up the earning power and be a sahm not knowing if I can take on this role well because I think I would be struggling with the hyperactiveness in me, I cannot stand to be indoors! 😜
But I know I have my own expectation on how the kids are going to be brought up, I wish to be there whenever they need me, I wish to be there to witness any new milestones they achieved. But all these have a price to pay 🤣😂 I have no helper not even a part-time helper though I wish (Don said this wont solve my daily issues 😂), I was offered a full time helper instead (I rejected because I don't want to look after another 'child' and handle another different set of problems). So end up, I 'bao ka liao', I became a homechef, teacher, disciplinarian, regular grab 🚖 rider to pick and send, ah sum to clear the 🏡 and the list goes on!
Sleepless nights when they were sick, solo parenting when Don is away. Some asked me why I don't want to engage help from inlaws or my mum. Many reasons, partly they are not young anymore, it is tiring to look after babies/young kids at their age. They had brought us up and looked after us half of their lifetime. I think it is fair enough they should enjoy their freedom now, just join us for meals, spend some time playing and talking to their grandchildren.
Defiant kids especially when they know when to 'bully' me and the boy is stepping into his teens soon! Behind those proud moments when they attained certain achievements were packaged with heartaches, frustrations, infuriating moments, and meltdowns not all but sometimes. Scenarios which I don't usually show and made known but that does not mean all is plain sailing for me.
I am blessed to have friends who are mothers like me, gone through the journey now that their kids are into teens or adulthood to share their experience and let me know that I am not alone. Some said you survived that 11 years and you will definitely survive the remaining years! 💪🏻 I hope so, thank you!