#shitkidssay

6,478 posts

Loading...
This arvo he was sitting at the dining table and his sister was trying to snatch and also sit on the same chair he was on. Naturally the bickering begins and I have to keep intervening otherwise they will kill eachother - and then he busts one out that I couldn’t help but laugh about “get out of my personal space”. Like where the heck did you learn that from? Of course I asked him immediately who taught you that and his response was “I taught myself”. I must say these moments sure make motherhood interesting during those hair pulling moments. #shitkidssay
Baby spits up, kids freak out. "It's all over the play mat!" they say. I do a quick wipe up and they continue to complain about the spit up on the play mat. "Show me where it is," I say curiously. "Right there! All the white Ash!" "Those are the clouds on the play mat, not spit up." #daycare #normaltome #shitkidssay * Also, the @babyeinstein play mat is the best!
@vishen reminded me of many of the INCREDIBLE things and moments I have been writing about this amazing kid. . Kids are usually so funny and so wit that a few years back I decided to capture those PRECIOUS moments. I have many that only make sense sharing in Portuguese for language sake. Today I want to share this one with you. . It's Lunch time at my parents'. GUI is 6 and we are all having a great time. Adults chatting and kids are eating. My MUM (To my dad): you know that lady down the street? She must be sick because she didn't look well last time I saw her. MY DAD: What woman? MY MUM: That one that lives down the street... You know... the one with a moustache. GUI (6): What?! A woman with a moustache? She must be sick for sure!!! 😂😂😂 . Do SHARE yours in the comments. I sure you have them too. 😉 . . . #kidsarethebest #kidswisdom #kidshumour #parentingisfuntoo #shitkidssay #funnymoments #authenticityatitsbest #spontaneitywins
Miss.Pizza-Maker recently turned 5. It's interesting observing children gain there own sense of humor. 😂 #nannylife #shitkidssay #peppapig #pepperonipizza #pizza #punsofinstagram #babysittersclub #babysittinglife #nannylife #kidjokes #peppapizza #peppapigshow #peppapigmemes #punnyjokes #kidsgram
*Kam picks up the phone*- “ hello yes. Pizza? Pizza tomin’ here and icecream. Otay bye” . . . This kid 😂🤦🏼‍♀️ #motherhood #neveradullmoment #allmine #momlife #lifewithatoddler #shitkidssay #funnyboy #love #mywholeworld #singleparent #boymom
Lilly’s conversation with my brother a few days ago 😂
Day 20: long post, but worth it in my opinion - I was looking through old pictures last night and came across this one that meant so much to me at the time it was taken. Coincidentally, I took it exactly one year ago and I was showing off my “success” as a Beachbody coach. Now I won’t go into all the reasons why I’m no longer a part of that community, but I’m not blocking my face in this pic bc you can see how miserable I was. I was forcing myself to enjoy a lifestyle that wasn’t working for me. Another coincidence, my bfs 10 year old daughter is doing this new cute thing (insert sarcasm font here) where she’s comparing EVERYTHING I do to her mom. “Oh mommy has a shirt just like that” “Oh mommy just bought those shoes too” “Oh mommy also watches that tv show”. I get it kid, your mom and I have similar taste in pretty basic girl stuff. So this morning at breakfast I was drinking from my old Beachbody water bottle (like I have done pretty much every day for the last year and a half) and today she decides to say “mommy drinks from that water bottle too!” Oh come on, I can’t even have my workouts to myself? Then I took a step back for a moment. Sure I’m not the most thrilled that my bf has an ex wife, but I need to accept that she’s going to be a part of my life for as long as I love this man and his kids. And more importantly, one woman’s success with a certain workout plan doesn’t reflect on my life at all. I’m so so happy with this keto community I somehow stumbled into. I’m not taking fake happy pictures where I’m trying to be someone I’m not anymore. So I texted her and offered her all of my old Beachbody shakes and equipment that I’m not using anymore. I kept some for myself because I still low key do some of the workouts, but I wanted to share what I’m not using with her so that we can both be successful in our paths. Build other women up while you build up yourself. It feels better than only trying to be successful on your own. . . . #womenempowerwomen #transformation #throwback #focusingonme #findingmyself #ketostrong #ketocommunity #fitfam #losingweight #weightlossjourney #findyourstrong #kidssaythedarndestthings #shitkidssay #stepkids
"It came out of the wrong end." 🤣🤭💨 #kidquotes #shitkidssay
What she told me today: “I want a baby sister, so it can be even ... and I can hold her ... and she can grow a tooth and grow up to be 44 so we can go to college” . . . #instalove #buddies #siblings #momlife #shitkidssay #sofunny #bro #littlebro #bigsis #myloves
Valentine’s day is coming up! Get your sweetheart one or all 3 of my zines full of beautiful, hilarious, bizarre quotes from little kids! Printed by the excellent @risolve ! Order on my Etsy shop (link in bio) or if you are in NYC stop by @bluestockingsnyc or @bursonreynolds or @quimbysbookstorenyc or @mcnallyjackson ! #shitpreschoolerssay #shtpreschoolerssay #fromthemouthsofbabes #kidquotes #shitkidssay #kidssaythedarndestthings #inspirationalquotes #zines #zinestagram #risograph #selfpublished #selfpublishing
This one is actually quite old! From December I think! I finally got around to drawing it (I dont know why it took so long though, it was pretty simple) but yea she knows the rules 🙄 (and if you tuned the volume all the way up to hear the music that’s supposed to be FAINT, make sure you remember to turn your volume back down lol)
Roman: what’s this mom? Me: it’s a (fake) brick wall Roman: yea Humpty Dumpty sat on it • 🌚🌝 #bet • • • #shitkidssay #RomanReigns #esketit #MomLife #YesWereAtDinos #IWantedGarlicKnots #HeWantedPizza #BabyBoy #SpoilT
Classy child 🥂
Conversation after school yesterday.... . . L: “I had a really bad day at school today, Mom.” . . Me: “Uh oh babe, what happened?” . . L: “I don’t know! I just went rogue!” . . She’s 6, y’all. But, I guess sometimes we all go a little “rogue” . . #mygirl ❤️ #momlifebelike #momlife 💕 #girlmomlife #girlmom 🎀 #texasgirls #texasforever #lordhelpme #goingrogue #thursdaymood #fitfam #fitforareason #ketofamily #fitkids #shitkidssay #funnykids #blondemom #stopgrowingsofast #mommoments
It’s OK if you make a mistake. Sweet and helpful from @heymissbaker . #humpday #wednesday #inspirationalquotes #shitkidssay #kidquotes #teacherlife
😂😂😂😂😂😂 #shitkidssay
Apparently this went on for a while, but this was the bit I walked in on (and tbh probably the best part 😂) Ava and James
You have to love the honesty of kids. But truthfully, there is no baby. Just some excess Christmas trifle, amongst other things. I've never really been one to care about my weight and flabby bits, mainly because it's not been too much of an issue. But after baby #2 something happens to ones body. Who knew that nipples could actually sag? And now, much to Harlow's delight, my tummy wobbles like a bowl full of jelly (move over Santa!) But people's bodies change shape, and that's OK. For me, feeling good about yourself is the most important thing and at the start of this year, truth be told, I wasn't feeling that good about myself and I can equate this to excess over the festive period - drinking, partying, eating the wrong things. I think we can all relate! So on the 2nd January (because the 1st Jan is a very blurry date!) I committed to changing up my habits to make me feel good again. I'm following the keto diet, which limits carbs and sugar and promotes eating more healthy fats, which makes me feel high-energy and focused.I've swapped alcohol for kombucha, which has made me less bloated and more in tune with my own body. And I am trying to make more time to go for walks and light exercise which I hope to ramp up eventually, but you know, baby steps for someone who is not a massive fan of exercise in general! I don't think these things alone will make my boobs perky or turn my tummy into a six pack, but they will make my mind clearer, more focused and more energised which is the goal. I have A LOT of things I want to create this year, goals I want to achieve and I can't do this being tired, hungover or unmotivated. So if you're on the same page as me, let's do this together! Let's up level the shit out of 2019 and do it feeling great. Flabby tummy, or not. #shitkidssay #2019goals #ketodiet #ketolifestyle #gamechanger #uplevel #mumgoals #mumlife #ketolifestyle
Lilly and James conversation from last week 😂🤷🏼‍♂️
Gonna miss this lot when school starts again. They’ve kinda turned out ok despite me. ❤️😈 #shitkidssay #childa #childc
And that was the end of scissors for that day
5 year old: Mommy can I take the red car outside, my friend would like to play with it Me: No.... I don’t like this boy, he breaks everything 5 yo: ok! Me: (well, this was way easier than I expected ) 5 yo: my mom said you can’t play with the red car because you break everything 🤦🏻‍♀️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ KILL ME NOW 🤪
He’s 4 years old. My friends child might be a psychopath. #scaryaf #shitkidssay #wtf #lmfao
We were waiting AGES for aunt Wendy (aka Ava and Lilly’s mum, for all you new people who don’t read the highlights or look around lol) to notice Lilly’s drawing 😂 it’s been hanging up for a while and everyone always does a double take. She’s quite the artist.
Perfect weekend hangs @marniedibdencate @willcate77 aka #washedupdj
“You got any games on your phone?”
A good plan B is always always essential to planning.
Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy... #shitkidssay #allthequestions
I’m so confused. #shitkidssay
Em- Mom, teach me to use a penis to pee. . Me- I can’t. I don’t have a penis. . Em- ugh. Aiden has to do everything. . 😳😂 Aiden is her 12 year old brother . . . . #thingskidssay #kidssaythedarndestthings #shitmy3yearoldsays #shitmythreeyearoldsays #funnykids #thingsmythreeyearoldsays #thingsmy3yearoldsays #shitkidssay
Quote from Ava from a few weeks ago. I promise you they’re not completely obsessed 😂
Yeah! Z’s are hard!
The kid said this was “the inside of a flower” but I say... THAT’S A BOOTY HOLE! . . #shitkidzsay #shitkidssay #kidssaythedarndestthings #kidtalk #wtf #wtfisthis
I’m really glad this party comes with a disclaimer. DANGGGGG!!!! #shitkidzsay #shitkidssay #kidssaythedarndestthings #kids #wtf #wtfisthis
// ‘Next Christmas Eve, I want to leave Santa hash browns cause he has too much sugar’ - Zeph
"My Porg like it corns." Dead. I'm dead. She's too damn cute. #porg #shitkidssay
This kid has “moody teenager” down to a fine art. He challenges me A LOT, but his #selfawareness amazes me frequently. Just have to work on the #communication now. #shitkidssay #autismparents #brightandhappy #lovehissmile #smallmomentsofcalm
Yesterday Mini and I were talking about baby boy no 3 and he asked me if he could cut the “extension cord” this time since daddy has already gotten to cut it twice. I mean, how could I say no to that? . . . . . . . . . . . . #funnykids #kidssaythedarndestthings #shitkidssay #funnymom #oureverydaymoments #lifewithkids #bathtime #bathtime #babynumber3 #herecomesbaby #3rdpregnancy #babyboy #letthekids #motherhoodmoments #clickinmoms #joyfulmamas
Ava was playing a game with them, and then they started doing this out of the blue, and when I looked over at Ava, she was making that exact face 😂
Hilarious words come out of this mouth. Like yesterday, for example, when she asked while driving through the neighborhood with exasperation and conviction, “when dees neighbooos gonna take dey Christmas shit down?!” 😳🤦🏼‍♀️🤣 • #minime #seriously #wonderwhereshegotthat #boss #hilarious #shitkidssay #rowanelleharlow #mygirl #daughter #yocolorado #momlife #designerlife
Olive actually just did this - ganna meme her quotes now 🤣🤣🤣 #toddler #momlife #sleepin #trolls #shitkidssay #hilarious #mybffis4 #momallday
This is from back when I had around 25k like two or three weeks ago lol. I visited my cousin Kate (@toofs ) who was watching the kids and decided to tell Ava about you guys and this was her response. Sorry. Also, I didn’t want to tell her the comics are about funny things they say (or go into too much detail) because I don’t want her to start saying funny things on purpose lol. “Just being yourselves” sounds more like I make comics about them eating popcorn like lizards while watching Gumball. Annnnyway, thanks for 30k! Really crazy. You guys are awesome 👌🏻
“Hey Mummy, I took your picture incase you’re ever on the news” 🤔 . . . . . . . . #weekend #missingperson ? #news #hull #eastpark #pug #pugsofinstagram #shitkidssay
When my nephew wants coffee. 😭😭 #FunnyKids #ellendegeneres #shitkidssay #kidsgoneviral
“...it’s for SCHOOOOOOL, LILLIAN.” “...so?” Ava had to write a short story for her English class and I’m actually not sure what it was about, but it had a lot to do with butts (9 year olds 🙄) and Lilly tried to help.. but yes, we told her it wasn’t a nice word to say and she was very shocked.
“HOW RUDE!”
She was not impressed with her snowman! Kept telling mama “NO”! 😂 #shitkidssay #nothavingit #toddlerlife #snowman #winterwonderland #funny #loveher ❤️
You have a balance bike... and a musical ride-on... And a rocking horse... And a scooter... WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU RIDING A XYLOPHONE?!? #thingsineverthoughtidsay 🤦🏼‍♀️ . . . . . . #kidversations #momlife #mommyneedswine #motherhood #toddlerlife #instamom #parenting #shitmomssay #shitparentssay #shitkidssay #kidquotes #momquotes #hotmessmom #reallife #thisismylife #toddlerlogic
Look at this munchkin 💕 my little drama queen! Quote of the day from yesterday after they cycled with Daddy all the way to the park and back, he knocks on the door and when I open it he cries out “I quit!” 😂 Note to Ethan, if you want to quit, do it before you actually complete what you’re doing!!
Okay this isn’t THAT funny (or funny at all lol) but I like how she talks to our plants when she thinks no ones around so decided to make a comic out of one moment haha (James always lets her water them)
next page →