Every day, dozens of innocent ducks are compared to the instrument of torture called the "oboe." These innocent creatures have done nothing to us, yet we insult them with such a harsh word. Oboes and ducks may share some small similarities in physical appearances; however, they are very different. For example, if you want a duck to stop honking, you will require nothing but a small handful of bread crumbs. If you want an oboe to stop honking, it will require a special tool called an "oboe mute," which can be bought online for $19.95. This tool is a specialized mallet clearly labeled "oboe mute." In addition, a duck can honk beautiful music whenever he or she wants to. When an oboist wants to make horrible honking sounds, they must go through a box of six to ten reeds, testing each individual one to see how it reacts to the temperature and humidity in a room. A duck can honk whether the room is humid or not. A duck also is more likely to be in tune than an oboe. Recent studies show that even professional oboists are nearly incapable of playing in tune with the rest of the ensemble. Clearly, there is no reason for us to be comparing an innocent duck to something as horrendous and evil as an oboe. Thank you.