Where my 3 children spent their formative years at Te Ra Steiner kindy & school.
Where we played a lot of music, formed 3 bands & jammed til sun up.
Where I had dreadlocks, a hippy phase, a mother earth phase & drank too much at parties but I ate organic so it was ok. 😂
Where I made so many friends who I still love & don’t see enough of.
Where my great grandfather died fishing off the Island.
Where one of our beautiful friends ashes were given back to the sea.
Where I was a fitness instructor at the gym,
on the good morning show and also reunited with yoga / trained as a teacher.
Where I lived when I studied gestalt psychotherapy.
Where I learned to light fire with a flint.
Where I met a very special medicine woman who was crucial to my healing path. Love you Judith Anne. ❤️
Where we spent a really cherished phase of life by this island full of mana. It’s so important to me to honour these phases, their purpose & how we’ve grown since. To look back & understand what it meant and the path we took back then. It’s been 3 years since we moved to Wellington & city life serving a new & different purpose, new growth & endless possibility.
Grateful for this constantly changing journey that is life 🙏🏼 #reflection .
😏Between new workouts, meal plan, mom life, shark week and feeling a cold coming on... I needed this. —Epsom salt bath with lavender, some electrolytes + zicam and deep relaxation... Now I’m gonna binge watch some Shameless before I sleeeep. Tomorrow I work, grocery shop, prep food, clean house and get allllll ready for a busy week. This is my #kidfree#saturdayturnup#aintnoshameinmygame ✊🏻
I used to go to social gatherings to get drunk. Not to socialize. #Socializing made me uneasy. Getting #sober has been adventure. I’ve had to learn how to be human and actually socialize. I’ve had to learn how to #partysober . I’ve learned how to show up to parties and #BYOB with my #LaCroixWater and feel confident. I’ve learned how to watch people pass around bottles of alcohol around a fire and not have to tell myself not to take a drink. 818 days later it’s getting easier, but I won’t say it’s easy.
Ill tell you....me not drinking was a decision that I was very ready for when I stopped. Granted, it’s only been a few weeks, but one of my favorite things to do is have a glass of wine or whiskey in my hand while I cook. I was afraid that was going to be a problem because i love to cook. But, I’ve been enjoying waking up without a hangover, not being ‘alcohol depressed’. I’ve enjoyed waking up with a clear mind, conscience and memory, of getting up and running with Piper, being awake and aware throughout the day....my mood, my attitude...everything seemed to have changed for the better. And, I didn’t crave anything but what I was cooking. I feel different. Good different. Happier. I love that I am not second guessing this. I hope I never do. 🙏💕
“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.” –Rumi
This picture was taken several years ago and I look happy- joyful, even. But I’m not. I’m actually drunk and filling that empty space inside with spirits that aren’t *actually* Spirit but, rather, a poison that mimics joy and leaves the hole inside bigger and deeper and darker and even more empty. If I could go back and whisper in her ear, I’d tell her this:
“I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being.” -Hafiz
Anyway, the whole point of this post is that sometimes (now) I feel so much Love that I think I’ll burst at the seams. This is one of those Overflowing-with-Love moments and I don’t want to keep it to myself. And maybe you need to hear this: (read this with your Heart, not with your mind):
“You have within you more love than you could ever understand.” -Rumi
And you *are* loved.
You are so loved.
You are worthy.
You are loveable.
You are not alone.
You don’t need to change.
The world is a better place because you’re here.
There’s nothing wrong with you.
Your life has meaning and purpose.
You are good enough.
You. Are. Enough. Period.
“There is a force within that gives you life. Seek that.” -Rumi