i’ve been having a mini melt down the past couple of days. nothing is really wrong, but anxiety decided to create, “what if?” scenarios that others have taken upon themselves to tell me to just not think about...because that’s how it works. so, in turn, i’ve grown frustrated trying to verbalize how i’ve been feeling. i’ve had random thoughts of harming myself, nothing provoked or any urge to act upon, but given my history, frightening all the same.
the past few days i’ve experienced a VS employee telling me they had nothing to fit my body, so i should alter it with breast augmentation to fit their product...that resurfaced sensitivity in body image that caused a rather sweet sentiment from my boyfriend (bless his little heart) to wind up in tears.
i have experienced feeling unappreciated and disrespected, and when the first words from a stranger on the internet consisted of me being, “bat shit crazy,” i immediately felt hurt. normally i would just ignore those comments, but in the middle of an episode those words struck. i had been hit, and was absolutely shook.
so, a few days of feeling insufficient as a woman, inadequate as an adult, and a failure in mental health, it’s about time i stepped back and took charge. aka, blog, blog, blog, sunshine, blog.
see you babes on the sunny side. 💋
PC // @ashley_lee17