This week has been a struggle. The past couple of years have been some of the most challenging of my life since losing my dad. People say to never meet your heroes, but what do you do if your hero raised you?!? Last year, admittedly, was extremely difficult for me when it was approaching the anniversary of the week he passed. Looking back I don’t think it had sunk in even then. The months following his death blurred into what seems like a few weeks and before I knew it, a year had gone by. Needless to say, I struggled. I couldn’t even face streaming, which is something I don’t only do because I love games, but because of the amazing community I have.
Fast-forward a year to yesterday; 2 years since my dad’s passing. I tried everything in my power to ignore the day. I talked to people all day about inane shit, I didn’t mention it at work, I didn’t mention it to anyone...and then it came time to stream.
It was odd that it took until I was actually just starting stream, before I realised how far I had come. At this point last year I’ll admit I wasn’t handling it...let’s say...soberly. I had dropped streaming for a week or so, as all I wanted was to be by myself, and was inebriated for the majority of it. But as I was writing on social media and forcing a smile for a shameless insta-selfie, it hit me that I was still going. I hadn’t stopped. I hadn’t given in to the temptation to fully drown my sorrows again. Then when my stream started I was overwhelmed by the unbelievable, relentless support my amazing community always show me, and before I knew it I had a smile on my face, and I was actually laughing...a concept which seemed quite literally incredulous to me last year.
So to get to the point, I know that everyone has their own shit. Sometimes situations beyond your control will test you like no other. Everyone is different in the way they respond to different situations. I just want to say this, you can get through it, it won’t be easy, it’s not meant to be....but you can get through it!!! PS. A big big thank you to my community, you all know who you are, and I appreciate you more than you know ❤️ #support #grief #twitch #twitchaffiliate