Yesterday I had an emotional breakdown, after learning my husband’s deployment date has moved up again. This time it’s only by two more days, but when you initially hear January...then October 22...then the 8th...then the 5th...now the 3rd.... I can’t help but feel every moment we were promised to be given to us before he leaves for 9 months is quickly escaping.
He’s been told by his superiors “Take as much time off as you can before you go! Make sure to spend all of your paid leave time with your family!” So we make plans. We’ll get the house set up since we really haven’t from when we moved in, sell our two unreliable cars to buy one reliable, make sure we have a living will in place, sell and purge unnecessary things we’ve held on to. Take the kids whale watching, plan dates to spend time together with just the two of us.
Then his supervisors come back with multiple trainings and appointments that literally fill all day for him—mandatory things required before leaving.
All of the time he’s told to take to be with us is already filled, and the date keeps moving up. He’s ironically working more, with longer hours right now than he ever has been.
Those who are military know this story well. They shrug a shoulder, tell me their same frustrations and share the long-standing cynical joke we’ve now lived for 4 years, how you can’t plan on anything when you’re military.
Some days it’s okay, yesterday it was not. We’re leaving tomorrow for a family vacation and while I’m excited, I’m also wondering if I had known he wouldn’t get the time off he was promised, would we have made these plans to leave?
I let myself have a good cry, vented, allowed the anger to show up over the disorganization and empty promises, at what it takes from us as a family, as real people who are married to one another and not to a system.
Today, the fire inside has shifted to resolution. Even with a long, un-checked to do list, we’re going to enjoy our vacation. ❤️ @ben.strader
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