It’s national pet day 😍 we are a self proclaimed cat family. We have 3! This big guy is Crouton, he turns 11 years old next week! Don’t mind his wink 😉 He’s the cat that makes people who hate cats, love them! These two are inseparable. They feed each other food, nap together, and he’s so protective over his tiny human. Tell me about your pets!
4. Do Understand That Depression Doesn’t Mean ‘Sadness’
Depression is a condition with a variety of symptoms – fatigue, disordered thinking, sleep problems. These are all symptoms of depression.
Irritability is a very common symptom, for example, and rarely are people who experience this symptom extended any sympathy.
Naturally, it’s hard to be compassionate if someone is grumping at you – and naturally, adults can (to some extent) control their own behavior (so you shouldn’t feel that you have to tolerate bad behavior because someone has depression), but irritability from depression can be as hard to control as sadness or insomnia.
Validation is as good a tool as there is for dealing with depression manifesting as irritability.
While not allowing someone to speak to you in a way you don’t want, you can validate their feelings of frustration or general malaise. I never get tired of hearing “That sounds so hard. I’m so sorry you’re feeling frustrated.” 5. Do Validate, Validate, Validate
Validation isn’t just a good tool for dealing with irritability, it’s a good tool for dealing with every aspect of having a loved one with a chronic illness.
Logic will not help.
Someone with depression is not living in the same universe as you. The laws that govern your universe do not exist in theirs.
It can be incredibly frustrating to have people act like what you are experiencing is not real, or is wrong, or is not reality.
I desperately wish I could believe myself when I say “my friends think I’m valuable and worth spending time with” when I’m having a depressive episode, but for me, at that time, saying that sounds as silly as saying “my eyebrows are the size of elephants.” It can be very difficult to explain this alternate reality to someone who does not have mental illness. Please try to understand that rational thinking will not work because logic literally doesn’t exist in the universe we currently inhabit.
2. Do Not Shame People for Being Negative
Depression remakes the world into a landscape of negativity.
For example, something that happens for me during a depressive episode is that I can “connect” better to negative feelings than positive ones.
If my boss praises me at work, trying to experience a positive emotion of pride or gratitude feels like pretending. I have a hard time experiencing the positive emotions usually associated with praise when I’m depressed.
If someone criticizes me, though, anger, frustration and guilt are much easier to access.
Depressed people aren’t simply choosing to see the negatives and ignore the positives. The positives are as inaccessible to us as junk food in a vending machine when you have no quarters. We are really, truly unable to accesspositive feelings.
Something that I find to be helpful is acknowledging that for people with depression, there are some days when, legitimately, nothing feels good for them. So, if you need a break from the Depression train, make it about you.
Don’t act like they need to try to find positivity where there is none. Tell them you need positivity so you’d like to talk about something positive, even if they don’t have anything positive going on.
3. Do Help Them Adhere to Medication Routines If You Can (But Don’t Question Their Medical Decisions)
Sometimes taking medication regularly is incredibly important.
Sometimes, I’m on a medication that makes my soul feel numb and my behavior and affect (outwardly) are pleasant and calm, but I feel like I’m living my life in a mildly depressing fish bowl.
Times like that are times when I want my loved ones to say, “Oh my, that sounds awful. Yes, I think it’s a good idea for you to talk to your doctor about transitioning off your medication.”
Depression is a drag. Everyone who has it experiences it differently, but we all agree that it sucks. Sometimes, however, I wonder if people who don’t have it understand – like really truly understand – just how overwhelmingly painful it is.
For example, while it seems that people most commonly use the term to express fleeting feelings of sadness or disappointment, depression is actually a chronic physical illness with symptoms that are mostlyinvisible.
It’s an exasperating disease to live with because being sad or frustrated or sleepless or numb for long, repetitive periods of time is exhausting – especially when you can’t prove to anyone that you’re really sick.
It can make your loved ones and friends want to be around you less because many people dislike the kind of negativity depressed people can become steeped in.
Just like you can’t stop a headache with the power of your mind, most of us with depression are stuck with our symptoms, even if we are managing our depression with medication or other techniques.
While it’s wonderful that we’ve begun to fight the misinformation and prejudice surrounding depression, we’ve got a ways to go when it comes to compassionately and lovingly treating people with depression like they have a serious disease. “Awareness” is great, but at the end of the day what I need is to be surrounded by people who actually understand my illness and know how to support me.
So here’s a guide to how to support a loved one with depression.
1. Don’t Ever Say ‘You’re Too Much’
When someone with depression is told “you’re too much,” especially from someone close to them, it can send them spiraling into guilt and anxiety and crushing sadness.
People with depression often have distorted ideas about how loved and supported they are, so hearing “I can’t deal with you” or variations on that theme from someone they love and trust can mean they generalize that sentiment to everyone close to them.
Imagine for a moment hearing “you’re too much for me” from every single loved one in your life. That’s what depression does to you. It makes you feel like a burden to the world.
THAT'S ME... 🤗🤗🤗Heute reichts nur mehr für ein schnelles Selfie von heut Vormittag. Energie ist mittlerweile am Tiefstsfand angelangt. #teamnosleep
Und was lernt man gleich mal als erstes in der Medienwelt? Zieh niemals etwas eng-gestreiftes oder kleinkariertes an, wenn du gefilmt oder fotografiert wirst, weil das flimmert... 😂😂😂#anfängerfehler #flimmerblazer
G R I T >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Sticking with your future day in and day out, not just for the week, or for the month and working really hard to make those goals a reality. It’s passion and perseverance and toughness #bebrave #grit #grace #thisisme
change of scenery for today! i was challenged by my my sweet friend laura at @homebylew
to share five fun facts about me.. so without further ado!
1. i am the queen of half thoughts. I will literally forget what I am talking about in the middle of a sentence. ALL THE TIME.
2. i am a scaredy-cat and can’t watch scary movies or crime TV, however i LOVE unsolved mysteries and dateline. explain it? i can’t.
3. i can never say no to candy or tacos.
4. i am a serious home body... I would rather have 500 people at our house before going somewhere.
5. i reallllllly want backyard chickens! 🐔
also, let me just say that this is the most awkward thing to do, but a certain 3 year old had a lot of fun taking pictures!
now, tell me a fun fact about you.. ready, go!
#funfacts #homedecor #homebody #thisisme #lifeathome #pocketofmyhome
Non essere rossa di rabbia..
È andata così..
Tu non ci puoi fare nulla..
E nemmeno io..
Chiuso lo stomaco.. Chiusi gli occhi..
Domani sarà un altro giorno..
#huaweip20 #leica #thisisme #thisismylife
Who am I really meant to be? "Spread that beautiful light that shines within you and you will light up the Sea!" Amy Covell
As I sit outside, I begin to reflect on my own personal development as a woman, daughter, sister, friend and lover. I admit, I have fallen short in every category, but I continue to strive to be the best person I am capable of being. I have always said I was put on this Earth to achieve more, to be more. I want to leave a significant impact on the people I encounter and I hope to look back on my life in 60 years and say I've left a positive imprint and that I've inspired change in people's lives. I have some of the most amazing friends who have helped me realize my potential and a family who's love and support run deep. I'm truly blessed to be surrounded by so many amazing people including Clive, my partner. He loves me unconditionally and I couldn't ask for a better person to share my crazy life with.
As many of us do, I lost my way, letting my life be ruled by conditioning and trying to maintain unrealistic expectations of myself. I finally gave myself permission to be whatever I wanted to be, and with that I found true happiness. I've been on a journey of "unconditioning" ever since. When we uncondition ourselves from stereotypes, judgement, and what we think we need to be for other people, then we can become more authentic. I have become unapologetically myself, on a quest to evolve into the best version of my authentic self instead of being who you think you need to be for others.
I've entered into a lifetime course of self discovery that is always unfolding. I don't think that one day we wake up and say I have become who I've set out to be. It's constantly drifting and the experiences we have allow us to bloom.
#knowthyself #growthmindset #positivity #france #journey #thisisme #evolve #authentic #jennifer #innerpeace
THIS IS ME ✌🏼
We are loving these testimonies coming from all across the world! Here is a great encouragement from Sats, the lead pastor of our London location! 💯
In John 14 Jesus says 'I am the way, the truth and the life'. No matter what WAY in life you've taken there is more for you & everyone you know when you take Jesus at His word! Step into all that Jesus is. 🙌🏼
#c3europehub #kircheinfrankfurt #frankfurt #hopecityfrankfurt #thisisme #jesusis
There aren’t many photos of me on the grid and this pretty much sums up why; 📸 I tend to be the one behind the lens rather than in front of it, for two very good reasons;
1) I find it bum clenchingly awkward having my photo taken. Anyone else forget what to do with their face when a camera is pointing at them?🤷🏻♀️
2) ironically, photography is one of my life’s loves. For all the discomfort of being in front of the lens, I find it so therapeutic being behind it.
Capturing moments of everyday magic and the local landscape of the Yorkshire Dales make this heart happy. Which is why you’ll find those kind of photos intermingled with our LOR&G homeware here on our grid. I hope that’s okay 💛
I vote we do more of what makes our hearts happy, what do you reckon? H x .
#myslow365 #countryliving #everydaymagic
How many people asked you today in passing “Hey how are you?” And your automated response was “I’m fine”? Sometimes we do it without thinking but Iv gradually learnt it’s ok to say Hey actually I’m not great today it opens up communication and encourages others to speak freely about how they are truly feeling. It’s also ok to admit your struggling we all have good days and bad.
Swipe across to read the affirmation and activate to allow yourself to speak freely. 🙏🏻😊💖 Feel free to message me anytime I’m always here to listen. 💕💕