This painting is VERY PERSONAL and SPECIAL to me, so it is NOT for sale, but will be on display during my art show, because it represents a HUGE part of my healing journey! 💛💖💛 This is me revisiting the playground where I felt I had left the little girl who I once was way back when I was violated on that playground so many, MANY years ago... I realized when I went back that I NEVER left me there... :’) I carried that broken "little girl" who learned to PRETEND that she was "fine" EVERYWHERE I went, so I FINALLY brought her back to the water, shattering my own mask of narcissism (shame/perfectionism/and dark humor that masked how much I was hurting), and drowned ALL the voices that ever told me that I didn't deserve to have my OWN VOICE in this world!
I chose to paint myself as a mermaid, because I wanted to claim my POWER in the water, instead of feeling helpless like I did when I was a young child. 🌊💜🌊 Back then (and WELL into my adulthood, I was TERRIFIED of water, so as an ADULT and an ADVOCATE for MYSELF, as well as other survivors, I choose to PAINT the water, CREATING MY OWN POWER as I go! 🌊💖🌊 I am no longer afraid of the water, and can face the shower without fear now! 💪🏽🦄🌎💖 If you look closely at my face in this painting, you might notice that it is a rising and rooting reflection of the sun (eye of the phoenix), no longer reflecting off of the water, but rising into the sky, uprooting the trees around me that are also reaching toward the sun, as they RISE! 🔥🔥🔥👁🔥🔥🔥 I painted and glittered my hair and lips both BRIGHT RED, because at the time that I originally went back to that place, I had dyed my hair BRIGHT RED to match my RED LIPS for Sexual Assault Awareness Month! 🔥👄🔥 If you look even CLOSER, you will notice that I added a tiny coyote, screaming at the sun before I finally signed it! 😉
This represents the haunting screams that I heard the day that I returned to the playground, of a coyote in the park below... My coyote will continue to scream, until there is CHANGE! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 #TimesUp