❓How do you do it? Combine residency with a family. A question I get asked on a weekly basis. And no. I do not have a stay at home husband.
I want to write some posts about different aspects of how we manage. In this one I will get in to the mental load, a concept introduced to me by the wonderful @alexandrasacksmd
The pressure on making sure the family is well managed still comes on my shoulders mainly. I think it is still deeply rooted in the mother role. I have a wonderful man, that does laundry, cooks on his day off and helps with whatever. Still the mental load of getting everything in order is what pressed on me the most.
-pick up dry cleaning
-fix broken dishwasher
-pack up gymclothes
-register baby check ups
-make costume for school play.... Etcetera etcetera.
Feeling I was alone in endlest lists of stuff and tired of trying to get my man to chip in. The amount of reminders was more effort than doing it myself. .
After numerous fights about me taking all the mental load, more household chores and working the same amount of hours we came up with our lifesaving system.
We use a to do app (in our case todoist) and share access to the household to do list.
I upload all my mental load. He gets an insight into the insane number of lists in my head. We share the items on the list.
When he crosses a job of the list I get an instant notification. And instant happiness 😉.
So an important answer to how I do it is I share the #mentalload