Honestly I feel crap today. I'm tired and feel like I never want to eat again. I don't know what foods will spike me and it's tiring. It's tiring always having to be up good, tiring trying to exercise on my own trying to figure out something that works for me. It's tiring because I don't have friends I see. I have Chris and he's amazing so supportive and lovely but he works and I don't yet. I'm on my own most days trying to figure out this life and deal with being diabetic. Its hard if I eat. Something that spikes me it will make me feel crappy for hours. If I go out for exercise my levels drop so low so quick into a normal humans range which I'm not at yet so it gives me false hypos. My vision isn't back to normal yet and it gets blurry a lot. This means a lot of the time I can't focus. Means I can't read and reading for me Is life. So I'm tired and needed to rant. Being diabetic is hard man. Switching up your entire lifestyle because you've been living like a potato due to mental health illnesses for so long it's caused your body to give up.
1 hour ago01
Sorry I've lost myself once again lou. Sorry my progress has plummeted. Sorry I have forgotten how to love myself. Something I'm sure of is I'll always love you..... I promise, forever and always my sissy. #trying 💗
Doing makeup b4 salsa. Just put on lipstick and thinking what to do with the eyes)Hair is getting longer and longer. Hoping to become a human by the end of spring)Gained 4-5kg=55kg/165cm height now and I got no idea where they are!measurements same.body-very toned.fat-not too much.I think heavy dancing training resulted in the muscle gain.93-56-87 now.size xs(30/32 depends on the clothes).upper part 32/34.jeans 24-25.chest 80DD/75E(((lost from 75F(((Results of my first year in Germany:lost 25kg than gained 5 back(but good ones). Lost the career of a curvy model(never mind). Progressed in dancing(a lot). Body flexibility and stretching are coming back. Next time I travel home I will do MRI to see what happens.Knees-almost recovered.I feel no surgery will be needed.they stopped hurting because I lost weight. I did not want to operate them as the doc said the scar tissue may grow and i will never dance again or will never stretch my leg to the full. I will keep on digging deeper.now dancing 4 -5times a week with 2-3days off. I keep on designing clothes.now mostly recutting and redecorating to save on fabric. Started designing LAMPS(sounds crazy)!Learning German grammar.Had to postpone Japanese coz no time.My Chinese is still ok.#goals#digdeeper#trying#target#relaxed
2 hours ago1477
A bit of pilates on a sunny saturday morning! #trying