These sentences pretty much sum up how I've felt for most of the day today. Nothing's really happend to make me feel so shit, it's actually been a good day, especially the afternoon as we took Isabelle out to Kaspas after school, for a treat for doing so well in her shows over the weekend.
This evening my moods just gone right down hill. I'm questioning everything I've done recently and everything I'm planning on doing when it comes to raising awareness for Mental Health Issues.
I've found myself thinking all sorts of things like 'Someone like me isn't going to make a blind bit of difference' 'People don't care that I want to raise awareness and educate people about Mental Health'
'Why would anyone listen to what I've got to say?!' 'I'm going to get nowhere with this' 'I'm a nobody'
'I'm going to end up embarrassing myself' 'I should give up!' I'm not saying all this for sympathy or attention or whatever, I'm just being really honest with how I'm really feeling tonight and what my thought process is like at this very moment. With these posts, it's my way of talking, it's my kind of therapy in a way. At some point in the future, I'd love to be able to turn my posts into a book of some sort but go into more depth.
Other than @mr_scorch
, no one actually bothers to ask me how I'm getting on with my projects or if I need any help with it, yet I pay an interest in everyone else's lives.... As soon as I do something for me or start something new, no one gives a shit. Am I seriously that boring and uninteresting?! Do people really have such little confidence in me to succeed?! It almost feels like that everyone WANTS me to fail.
Maybe I'm just over tired and in need of a bloody good rest and a good sleep. I hope that's all it is. 😔😔😞😞