He is my every reason.
These past 7 months I have gone through a whirlwind of emotions, from facing my first, from literally being torn in 2. From working so hard for something to literally being told Im not good enough. That sacrificed so much for this one thing , for this one position for this one career or whatever you wanna call it.. Well it lead me to this moment where i simply contemplated and began to think do I stay stuck? do I continue to stay in the field Ive worked so hard in these past 9 years or do I move on.
So its time, I close this chapter in my life, after many healing sessions, many notes, countless hours of prayer.. many tears even moments I was sobbing to the ground ....where it was just me and him.
I am now following my passion. Its crazy what God will do in your life when you sit back and let things unfold naturally. Hes continued to put the same lessons in my life , the same repetitive patterns and the same people that were so toxic all because he was teaching me something. Something in myself I wasnt in tune with. Things that I thought were normal but werent... Things I would let slide or just let it be. NO Its time I do things for me .
So here I am , as I began shedding all those layers that no longer defined me, that healed every broken area in my life , that released every part of me that is no longer ME... that came face to face with who I was then and who I am now, that let God simply work in and through me... it was then I began to take faith risks and no longer lived a fear based life ... And it was that morning I woke up feeling new. ✝︎ #bestill #yegblog #fromtheheart #mynewjourney
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NEW BLOG POST
I think it is safe to say I am not the only one that has a fear of rejection. I think it is in our DNA to want to be accepted. Whether that is by our families, friends, coworkers, significant others, or even strangers- we all want people to like us!
As many of you know, I am single- a true bachelorette. Don't get me wrong, I am dating, but lets be honest- I don't know what's more disappointing, my bank account or my love life. I haven't had a commitment relationship in over 2 years. However, I find myself in "situationships" over and over where I think the person and I are only seeing each other, but turns out I was the only one not seeing anyone else.. So why does this happen?
Well this happens because I never seem to have an open and honest conversation with the other person about a relationship. Although I do pride myself on communication in other aspects of my life, I ASSUMED him and I are both adults and we don't need to have the "relationship" conversation. I see it as, We have been seeing each other for a little while, and its obvious that I like you and you like me so lets just chop it up to being committed. I also realized that I have an intense fear of rejection. What if I have the relationship conversation but that person says they aren't interested? What if I put myself so far out there, and they don't feel the same back? What if they aren't ready for a serious relationship? and more importantly, Can my heart and self esteem take the potential rejection?! All those questions go through my mind, and I decide its easier to just keep doing what we are doing and avoiding the conversation all together. When I type that out, it's ridiculous to think like that, how much easier is it to know from the get go that the person you are investing time and energy into isn't interested in a relationship then assuming so in your head! BUT because my fear gets the best of me, I shut down and don't communicate.. Which is usually GREAT for the guy- since he gets to have his cake and eat it too, but it isn't great for me as I continue to avoid the elephant in the room. maybe.. I'm just not ready to hurt again.. CLICK LINK IN BIO TO READ MORE