iamyasi

Yasmine Aker 🕉🦋⚛️

One day the universe will offer you that person who listens to you and shows you compassion and loving kindness, and may that person be yourself. 💜

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Couldn’t have asked for a better birthday 🎂 thank you @samanthamelitta for showing up early morning and making pancakes!! And to all the beautiful souls who joined me at the Japanese Garden... and to the full moon, and the magic of celebrating on the night of the super wolf blood moon eclipse 🌙 It was perfect perfect perfect 🙏🏼 #birthday #thankyou #birthdaygirl #january21stbaby #superwolfbloodmoon #lunareclipse
Birthday weekend festivities 🎊🎂 Where to begin... 2 years ago I found myself begging for a community to share my life with. Over the past year, the most magical people have appeared out of thin air who have insulated me with so much inspiration, support, and love. I’m truly one of the most, if not, the most lucky gurl in the whole wide world. Not only do I get to be here in this life at this time, I also have the privilege to share it with the most beautiful souls imaginable. I love you so so so much, thank you for the most magical birthday brunch 🙏🏼❤️ #magic #birthday #family #soulmates #lucky #openaire #love
Not many people know this, but I started smoking cigarettes when I was 14 years old... I actually tried my first cigarette when I was 6 years old! 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’ve spent a great part of my life nurturing, chastising, loathing, and in the end hiding my addiction from nearly everyone in my life. . . Recently I realized my addiction was an inability to sit with discomfort, a refusal to accept the truth of “what is”. . . Knowing this made me have compassion for myself and all the people in the world who are addicted to something — phone addiction, social media addiction, sex addiction, and drug and alcohol addiction... because ultimately we are all in pain of some form in search of comfort and distraction. . . If you’re battling with addiction, try this; it worked for me! As soon as you feel a craving, sit and become hyper present to the uncomfortable sensations in your body and mind. Give yourself permission to feel the discomfort, don’t try to change it or fix it or ignore it. Just be compassionately aware of it and allow it to exist. . . Eventually the discomfort will pass. Because nothing is permanent, no anxiety, pain, craving... nothing. Nothing in this world is permanent and the discomfort will pass... before you know it, you will be on your way to making peace with your addiction and will let it go. . . #nophotoshop #joshuatree #sky #rocks #discomfort #addiction #mindfulness #anxiety #socialmedia
This might upset some people because I’m about to use a dirty word in our society: “mediocrity” The secret to happiness is to be satisfied with mediocrity so that when magic happens, to see it for magic and experience joy. Because sadly, even if we become the wealthiest and coolest people on earth, much of our day to day life will be pretty mediocre and repetitive. It would be a shame not to make peace with that truth ❤️ ...sounds stupid but to be satisfied with mediocrity you can still strive for excellence — and that becomes a pretty easy way to feel more joy more often. #happiness #satisfied #mediocrity #mediocre #joy #secret #satisfaction #joshuatree
As some of you know, I went to a temple in the last weeks of 2018 to sit in silent meditation for a week. But before I share my experience about the silence, I’ll speak a little about the noise... . . 4 years ago I was misdiagnosed with multiple sclerosis, 3 years ago my father passed away, 2 years ago I ended up at the emergency convinced I had carbon monoxide poisoning (spoiler alert: turns I was having a nervous breakdown), 1 year ago my marriage ended in divorce, and this year I found out my beloved nanny passed away. . . When I had my nervous breakdown I was told to see a therapist, my therapist told me to “feel my feelings” -- that sounds simple, but I had no idea what “feeling my feelings” actually meant. I’d become an expert at suppressing my feelings and pain throughout my life. . . Fast forward… and here I was at a Buddhist monastery somewhere out in the middle of nowhere, where I was told not to talk, not to read for leisure, or use my phone. My days at the monastery were spent in silent meditation, mindful cleaning meditation, eating meditation, reading books from the temple library, and walking/hiking meditation. . . Day 1 and 2 was a big adjustment, I couldn’t fall asleep. Day 3, I had a full-blown panic attack in my room, all alone, as I hyperventilated and sobbed myself to sleep. Day 4, 5, and 6 were my breakthrough days… everything began to crystalize into better understanding. I had the soundest sleep I’ve had in ages on Day 4, 5, 6, and 7. . . *(if you’d like to read more, the rest of this post is included in the photos above)* 🙏🏼 . . #vipassana #noblesilence #meditation #silent #silence #truth #silentretreat #learning #insight #betterunderstanding #zen #buddhist #monastery 🙏🏼
Last year in November I took a break from #socialmedia and it was amazing. End of Dec I’m planning to go on a 10 day silent #vipassana meditation retreat and have a lot of mental and spiritual housekeeping to do before I go. I love you all, and will be back in the new year with more random nonsense and menagerie to share ❤️ #takingabreak #silence
WARNING ⚠️ “There is no lifeguard on duty! No diving allowed” ...it’s called fashun, look it up. #fashun #vagina #onesie #flashback #fortyjuly
Good morning! ☀️ As a newly minted American citizen I voted for the first time!!! . . #firsttime #ivoted #vote #humanrights #electionday #govote #metoo
This past year I unwillingly built the courage to dance with my shadows to bring them into the light. I’ve loved and lost and laughed and cried. I’ve been humbled into honest work, and learned that all my possessions, status, and luxuries are temporary. I prayed for the universe to show me that one person who can give me what I have yearned and cried for my whole life. I asked for the universe to show me my other half, the half who can love me unconditionally; that one person who sees me, holds space for me, has time for me, forgives me, accepts me, and understands me. And I found her... I’ve been looking for me all along. So I’m finally letting go, letting go of expectations, control, fear, and desired outcomes. Because these past few months I’ve had growing pains but I’m happy to say that I’m finally starting to feel like I’m in my own skin again. Thank you everyone who has been endlessly supportive, loving, and kind on my journey back to myself 🙏🏼 thank you to all of my friends and family who have stood by me in my madness, I love you all so much ❤️ #thankyou
wish I was as #badass as I look in these #headshots 🙋🏻‍♀️ thank you James! So... in reality I’m a tiny human who is super sensitive and would prefer to sit and talk for hours about love and life 👋🏼 hi #reallifevsinstagram #loveroflife #nophotoshop
I’m so lucky to be insulated by the loving support of the most amazing women in the world and to have such a solid army of strong women in my life. I’m one of the luckiest people because I am surrounded by fierce, loving, supportive goddesses whom I consider my family. I love you ladies. No gossip, no judgement, no drama. Just loving kindness, good times and support... you inspire me! ❤️ #girlpower #goddess #godisawoman #love
Thank you @jamesdepietrophotography for the honest and beautiful headshots 🙏🏼 can’t wait to go through them over the weekend #headshots #eurotrash #bangs
I had a dream last night that I was in the middle of a war. People were scared for their lives and one woman wanted to save her daughter’s life by giving her to me. I woke up feeling so grateful for my life and for not having to worry about my safety. But then I realized... maybe I am that woman... the war is the chatter in my head, and the little girl is my inner child. I have been spending my whole life desperately trying to keep her safe. Every choice I have made has been about safety... ❤️ I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to feel safe, we keep our children safe, we keep our pets safe, we keep our lovers and friends safe. I think it becomes a problem when we begin to make inauthentic choices in favor of safety... I think I might have done quite a lot of that in my life and I’m ready to sit in the discomfort of not knowing. I’m ready to sit in the discomfort of over exposure and vulnerability. I’m ready to sit at the edge of safety and welcome the dark of the unknown. #lettinggoofcontrol #lettinggooffear #safety #innerpeace
Happy Birthday to my dear father. Today would have been his 74th birthday ❤️ We miss you so much with every passing day. Thank you for teaching me about simple joys, love of nature, gardening, hard work, appreciation for art and music, charity, and the importance of daily prayer and meditation 🙏🏼 I love you Baba joon ❤️ #happybirthday #restinpeace #lifelessons #father #birthday #dad #baba
I’m so grateful for my friends who recommend amazing books and who always strive for self betterment... I look up to you ❤️ so thankful for the book 📚 “Codependent No More”... it has helped me understand why I’ve attracted the types of people I have into my life. . . If you... Have an unhealthy tendency to rescue and take responsibility for other people’s feelings and life choices. Unintentionally or unconsciously try to manipulate people or circumstances to control your rescue missions. Derive a sense of purpose and self worth through extreme self-sacrifice. Choose to enter and stay in care taking and rescuing relationships. Are a people pleaser and feel anxious about abandonment and not being liked. Regularly try to engineer change for troubled people, addicts, or depressed people whose problems are bigger than your abilities to fix them. Seem to attract people looking for someone to take care of them, or people in perpetual crisis, or people with narcissistic tendencies and personalities. Have a pattern of engaging in well-intentioned but ultimately unproductive unhealthy helping behaviors or “people fixing”. You too might want to read this book ❤️ #codependentnomore . . It’s changed my life and perspective on my co-created toxic relationships. . . #friendship #codependency #book #life #lifehacks #love
Gonna be an Instagram doucheknob and post a nature photo and inspirational quote... in three... two... one... aaaand here it is: “when people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” for me that means... taking a step back, recognizing the behaviors of a person, accepting responsibility for my own part in the events, and making adjustments not to repeat the pattern, then forgiving the person and myself. It doesn’t mean that person has to come back into my life immediately, if ever, or that the person is a good fit for me energetically. Forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing people to repeat toxic behavior. I’m writing this because I received some backlash from the poem “hey little lady...” I want to clarify that the poem is not about setting blame on men or about casting blame in any way. It’s about staying aware and recognizing toxic co-creation and about co-dependent friendships and relationships. People are fluid. People deserve forgiveness. Everyone is a cosmic reflection of divine light. I use my art, humor, and statements to make people laugh, think, or to entertain... but sometimes I forget to turn that off... sometimes I forget I’m not on stage and life is not a performance. I’m not perfect, I’m far from it. I can be a little monster myself. I talk too much, and forget to listen. I deflect and say things I haven’t yet digested in my self. I get angry and judgmental. Aaaand I make the same mistakes repeatedly (which I’m pretty sure is a sign of insanity 😬)... So I’m sorry if I have burdened anyone’s heart with my words. That is never my intention. I’m just a person figuring things out and sharing as I learn. 💙 Thank you @itselliotknight for taking this photo! 🙏🏼 . . . #imperfection #blame #forgiveness #breath #openness #balance #codependent #love #friendship #honesty #owningmyownshit #accountability #surrender #steppingback #sheddingskin #joshuatree #roadtrip #thankyou
I cut my bangs!!! #eurotrash 2018
Hey little lady, be careful out there. There’s a monster among us. He doesn’t lurk under the bed or stalk his prey in the shadows. He’s just like you and me. He’s a regular monster with regular monster clothes. A regular monster laugh and regular monster past. He’s self-serving with whimsical charm. Emotionally abusive but with heart of gold. He listlessly roams with a messiah complex big enough to eclipse the sun. You will of course empathize with his deeply depressed heart even though it’s rooted in his grossly enlarged sense of self-importance... He’s a danger to you... I promise. Because he’s cunningly manipulative but loving and kind. He speaks ill of his friends but with adoring care. Wholeheartedly holds fast that all the women of his past and present are all in love with HIM, him, him? Who knew? He helps others helplessly, but be careful, because his help is about him and his unattained dreams not the ones you misplaced way back when you still believed in kings and queens. He creates false intimacy with all whom he meets and asks carefully crafted questions to emotionally destabilize you into feeling completely disrobed but also deeply and deliciously connected to the hologram of his soul. Because he’s hungry you see, he is starving for love. He will compliment you with cookie cutter words he wordsmithed years ago because he knows it will make you feel special enough to come dance in the backsheds of his mind. He jumps from woman to woman without a care in the world because he’s only interested in the conquest of your heart — trapping you in his web of deceit to feed the little monster inside. His flame burns hot and fast with fury and it disappears as quickly as it came. Leaving behind ashes and confusion where there once was wonder, hope and aim. Have you met this little monster yet? If so, stay awake, and release him gently back into the dark night he crawled out of. Be careful out there... 🏝 (please note that “he” can be replaced with “she”... this is not gender specific... anyone can be and become a little monster). . . #heylittlelady #monster #him #her #poetry #confessions #redflags #photography #nophotoshop #littlelady #becareful #covertnarcissist
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