Scuba diving in a pool may not seem like a big deal but for me it is a HUGE deal!
💦I am breathing under water.
💦I am relying on something else to breathe.
💦I am claustrophobic.
There was a lot of patience from my scuba instructor @t.mccabe
to get me to where I could give this “ok” sign underwater yesterday.
😰Most people think claustrophobia is a fear of small or crowded spaces. I can actually handle those types of situations now fairly well with self talk. I can be in a crowed yoga room or sauna as long as I know I have the control to get out if I need to. However, my greatest fear of all time is having limited air or not being in control of my own breathing.
🚌 When I was little, I was in a school bus where kids were goofing around putting their coats over each other’s heads. Someone did it to me and I screamed, cried, kicked and hit until I was free. I scared everyone even myself. This was my first experience with claustrophobia and at the time I wasn’t sure why I reacted the way I did. As an adult, I will avoid pretty much everything and anything that might make me feel claustrophobic... even something as simple as wearing a hospital mask over my mouth and nose is very uncomfortable for me. I’ll sweat, breathe heavily and take it off every two seconds to get a bug gulp of air.
🚁 Something that happened more recently was when I went skydiving this summer. When I agreed to go I had no idea that when I jumped out of that plane I would not be able to breathe during the free fall. No one tells you that ahead of time because to most people it probably isn’t a big deal, it’s only a few seconds but to me it was an eternity. When we jumped out of the plane I couldn’t even enjoy the experience until that parachute was pulled. All I could think about was that I couldn’t breathe and how long until she pulled the shoot.
💦 So, why did I agree and pay for a week of scuba dive training in Thailand? Firstly, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I like to take risks and really push myself. I want to see if I can conquer this life long fear. Secondly, my instructor is a friend I have known for a very long time and well respected in his profession.
Stay tuned 😰💦😱