I posted about this on my personal FB page, but felt like I needed to continue the story here as well.
My last post was all about my fertility struggles for #pregnancyandinfantlossawarenessmonth
That very same day I posted it, I had just received confirmation that my hcg levels were rising appropriately in my current pregnancy, at roughly 5.5 weeks. It was encouraging, but I was trying not to get my hopes up, knowing it was still early.
Then on Thursday last week, Ryan took me to the hospital, due to some worsening cramps on my left side.
A few excruciating hours later, I was in surgery for an ectopic pregnancy that had burst through my left fallopian tube.
In an instant, I had to rethink my life for the next few weeks. Not to mention, the nagging thoughts in the back of my head - do I even want to keep trying for another baby? Is all this pain worth it? I don’t think I’m ready to make that decision yet.
The worst: I can’t pick up my son and snuggle him. I feel like I’ve gone through another c-section, but there was no snuggly baby reward at the end. 😭 After an already tough year financially, I have to take weeks off in what should be my busiest time of the year. Ryan’s Grandmother passed away. Isaac got sick. Sleepless nights. Heartache.
The silver linings: My life was saved. Wonderful doctors and nurses. Free healthcare. I will heal. Grandma had a long, full life, surrounded by the love of her family. Our families are amazingly and incredibly supportive and selfless. My son will heal. I can still hug him, and kiss him, and I will, every time he gets close enough <3
Better days are ahead, I know this. 📷@melissamaahsphotophy