!!!hi this is weird for me to be vulnerable and open like this and writing this scared the shit out of me!!!
being confident in who you are is hard. for anyone. some of you are aware that my cousin, nicole, died a year and a half ago due to complications from her eating disorder. her passing gave me a reality check. some of you are aware that I was diagnosed with anorexia in my junior year of high school. at first, i was embarrassed to share this. but why be embarrassed about something you can’t control? it’s fucking hard to like what you see in the mirror. it’s fucking hard to see yourself the way others see you. after nicole died, i kept thinking… “why not me? it isn’t fair to her, right? i should have gone with her, right?” but, after nicole died, something changed in me. i actively sought help for the first time since my diagnosis. god knows i didn’t want to, but i did. i had intake calls and almost went to a residential treatment center for my second semester of college(how shitty would that have been?) BUT, instead, i was lucky to have enough support at home to be able to commute to school every day(stella adler fam you are the realest ❤️). this past year has been, by far, the hardest year of my life. i’m lucky that i’m even standing here today. but i am here to say that i am worth it. today, i feel confident. today, there is a purpose in my life. today, i want to share my story in hopes that i can help someone else similarly struggling. it’s NEDA (national eating disorders association) awareness week. if you or a loved one has signs of an eating disorder, please do not hesitate to get help. you are not alone. the earlier you intervene, the better chance you have of full remission. i will always love you, nicole. you are with me, every step i take. i wake up each day stronger than i was before. (this post consists of pictures of people who make or have made me feel beautiful & and artwork by my beautiful cousin, nicole.) #nedawareness